“In the woods I came across a whole bunch of owls feathers … a nest of feathers and no trace of the body. Some meters further down the hill stands one of my tree-friends, the big old cork tree, you know? I like to lean onto him, sitting or standing. I like to speak to him and receive advice. He usually doesn’t need to say much … he responds with one or two sentences, and most of the time, that’s all I need to hear.
Sometimes I pass by and all we do is exchanging a glimpse, a short “I see you”, a brief “Yes, I remember”. But on that particular day back in winter, he made me stop and look and wonder: the same type of feathers stuck on his trunk?!
I went back up the hill and took most of the feathers home, washed them and let them dry.
I felt blessed … You see, I had asked for it! A week before I had asked for a sign in the form of a feather.
Before receiving the sign and finding those feathers I moved through a hard week of deep fears and uncertainty: long hours of darkness, lit up by inner campfires of transformation.
At daytime, my eyes wide open, I walked miles scanning the ground, but my sight was blurred: no sign, no feather for me to find.
At night my physical form would turn into a field of craters. I would sweat tears of magma-streams and dissolve into the unseen world.
I would travel back to the heartfelt highlights of my past, so in case I would die, I would remember and carry them with me inside a pocket of my soul. But I wasn’t dying – the owl was calling me.
You see, the nightly calling of owls, who come close to my house at night, always makes me feel more at home, more at home here on earth. And at the same time it reminds me of a deep longing, a mystery, something us humans can mostly only be part of through spirit.
But only hearing the owl had not made me understand! She had to show up in physical form to make me pause … uncover … and listen to her message.
She, this beautiful creature – eagle of the night – came into my life as feathers, as spirit animal.
She offered me her medicine.
I had to climb deep into the ground and far out into the vast space of darkness where my own shadows awaited me, accompanied by ancient voices and empowering visions.
The owl lent me her eyes, ears and wings which filled me with courage.
She infused me with her wisdom and shed a bright light onto the concept of victimization. After decades, centuries and lifetimes – my gaze (her gaze) , bright like a laser, made this old perception of identity dissolve.”
I’d like to reflect on this a little bit by saying:
When accusation and blame towards others no longer count and the noise* disappears, what does remain?
When old concepts of identity and inner shadows leave, what does remain?
Silence? Heartbeat. Self.
A familiar … peaceful … powerful … unique ancient melody.
Search for it – and be it!
Yeah, there is such a thing like a unique ancient melody … within you … within me … within our souls … a voice of inner truth and alignment with the divine.
When I write songs for example the words and music come from that place. It’s always an intuitive process of giving birth to something I am hardly in control of … and it’s beautiful to experience this!
Thank you for spending time with me. In case my words resonated with you or brought up questions, feel free to reach out – I’m here :)